My husband and I got married in 1995. Since being married, we’ve certainly had our share of financial struggles, but 2012 was one of our worst financial years. One night between the hours of 1am and 2am, I tossed and turned in bed as I heard the words “self-sabotage” in my spirit. At this time, these were not words I would typically say, therefore I knew the Holy Spirit was dealing with me. I stayed awake pondering for a few minutes as my soul echoed over and over, “self-sabotage.” I eventually drifted back to sleep. The next morning, as I prepared my girls for school as well as getting myself ready for the day, I just couldn’t shake the words that were spoken overnight. I was puzzled. I lacked the knowledge of what “self-sabotage” truly meant. So as anyone would do, I turned to Google.
As I searched, I found article after article centered around negative talk such as “putting yourself down”, “I can’t do anything right.”, “I won’t make it.”, “Why should I bother trying?”, “Blaming everyone for your problems”, and “Can I do this?” I eventually discovered that procrasti- nation is a huge sign of self-sabotage. The “Imposter Syndrome”, which is the feeling of being undeserving of one’s success, is another form of self-sabotage. The more articles I read, the wider my mouth opened. It’s shocking to admit, but some of the information I’d discovered on the pages of google described me and was in alignment with who I was at that time in my life! All the signs were pointing to a person who had quickly fallen into a trap. That person was me! The day of this discovery was a day that I have never forgotten. It was truly a day of reckoning for me. I began to look inwardly, asking the Holy Spirit questions. Self-sabotage wasn’t something any mentor or coach ever taught me, nor had I read about it in a personal development book. Because of how the Holy Spirit spoke to me, I knew I needed answers and I needed them fast! The Holy Spirit doesn’t disturb your sleep in the middle of the night to deal with an issue that is not important to Him. That’s when I began to allow the Spirit of the Lord to deal with some behaviors I found myself creating that were outside of His will. Indeed, there was an internal battle raging within; a war between my conscious and subconscious; a war between my heart and the Spirit. Indeed, a battle of the soul. It was a war between my past, present, and future that I had chosen to engage in, unaware.
Lessons in the Wilderness
As I allowed the Holy Spirit to breathe life into me, He began to shape me afresh and anew. He impressed upon me: “What you are dealing with, and what you are going through is really not about you, but rather the story I am creating in you. This is My will that you and your family go through the wilderness!” I felt the Spirit of the Lord saying to me, “If you don’t get your act together really fast, you do know that I can bypass you and your family and use someone else!”
The truth is, the wilderness experience that included my family being on food stamps, the low place, and the lack all began to take a mental toll on me. It began to take a toll on my psyche. Although I’ve referenced this before in a previous chapter, I would simply like to make things clearer so that you might have a greater understanding of the pressure I was under during that season. My husband and I had built a million dollar business where we soared to the top of a com- pany in 2009 and 2010. The company took a turn for the worse, caus- ing our franchise business to crumble. We lost everything in 2011. As 2012 approached, scarcity and lack seemed to have become the norm,
though we were at such a good place financially years prior. I was utterly crushed, shaken to my core, in great pain and devastated. As a child of God, I wondered why God allowed my family and me to be so blessed only for it to be taken away so abruptly.
I later embraced the fact that He needed to re-shape me and re- mind me that there was a millionaire mantle on my life. He began to show me that the same mantle that was over me when He allowed my husband and me to soar to the top this particular company, was the same mantle that was still over my life though the bank account didn’t reflect it. Why? Simply because He had placed it there and had not taken it away. I felt the Lord showing me that just as the food stamps were there, so was the millionaire mantle! It didn’t just leave when the financial hardship hit us. I was also reminded to not allow it to define me —the food stamps.
(I truly hope that you catch that powerful revelation in your spirit!)
The Lord clearly showed me that I had to stop creating self-sab- otaging experiences. Many people couldn’t see them on the outside, because these self-sabotaging experiences were internal. We can all relate to the negative chatter that happens in our minds at times and the things we tell ourselves. During that season of my life, the chatter got louder and became more frequent. He reminded me that it was imperative that I see things through His lenses. Self-sabotaging be- haviors prevent you from going into the promised land. Because of this very reason, I came up with my own personal motto to help me through: “Focus on the promise, and not the pain”. The more you focus on the pain, the more the pain will be attracted to you. The more you focus on the promise, the more the promise will be attracted to you. The other saying was, “Don’t let your down place define you!” In other words, don’t put your down place on like a coat that you would wear. Don’t wear it and don’t accept it at face-value.
I encourage you to look at your wilderness experience but from a different perspective and a different place. Ask yourself, “How can I be better and not bitter?”, “What can I learn from this situation that I am currently in so that I can quickly get out of it?” That’s just what I did! I had to come to the realization that every person God uses ina mighty way goes through a series of serious battles and obstacles before their name is ever made great. Jesus is and will always be our perfect example!
What’s your Story?
It could be from “Pain to Prosperity”
It could be from “Suffering to Success”
It could be from “Misery to Money”
It could be from “Trials to Triumph”
It could be from “Foreclosure to Fortunes”
It could be from “Bankruptcy to Blessed”
It could be “How I Turned my Mess into a Message”
God loves to show off and show out!
God loves to use the rejected, the outcast, the overlooked, the misun- derstood, the black sheep, the unloved, the drop outs and the broken! God loves to use the MISFITS! He loves comeback stories!
I puoposed in my heart that I wasn’t going to allow my down place to define me. I had to quickly remind myself of who I was, and whose I was – a child of God! My identity was rooted in Him rather than my current circumstances. I had to remind myself that if He has set me on a path of wealth by way of entrepreneurship and business, no matter my downfall or set back or what I visibly saw before me, His promises would still come to pass! I kept faith that no matter what season I was in, His promises would still come to pass. Daily I reminded myself that although I was not in the best place, the same desires and goals He placed on the inside of me still existed and there was still a place of prosperity and abundance for me and my family.
When I surrendered during this stage of my life, embraced it, and quickly shifted my focus, restoration began to fall from Heaven. God began to slowly restore us once again. One of the first things I can recall happening was my husband getting a higher paying job. Initially, as we saw business declining, my husband took on a part- time job, earning only $11 per hour. That within itself was hard being that he left corporate america when our business started soaring years prior and at that time he was earning almost six figures. As a man he
felt broken, but when God started restoring us he got hired earning $20 per hour; the following year he was earning a $70,000 per year salary. This new salary put him close to what he had earned before leaving Corporate America years before our incline in business. As I continued working from home with as much diligence as I could muster, we noticed God quickly moving in our midst. I remember saying God is restoring us when we went to purchase a Lexus that was $15,000 cash. Wow! It seemed only months ago we were in need of government assistance. Then a year later, we were sought after, amidst an entire country, to become part of the founding family, helping to launch a company! Months after launching the business in the USA, the company expanded globally. “Millionaire” eventually became our status! From “Food stamps to Millions” it was! Our story has allowed us to encourage others and I pray it does the same for you right now!
Don’t Curse Your Crisis
If I can encourage someone not to wander in the wilderness, but instead learn from those experiences and quickly move on. There is definitely a great place of wealth for God’s children. Don’t be like the children of Israel who wandered in the wilderness murmuring and complaining. I truly believe MANY people miss their destined place(s) because of the testing required, which ultimately forces them into an infertile state of wandering.
There are different purposes for a wilderness experience. Some in- clude:
To Test you!
To Humble you!
To Prepare you!
To Highlight areas of your heart!
Will you still obey God despite your current situation? Will you choose to stay focused on His word no matter how things look around you? Or will you sell out and revert back? God will allow you to go through a wilderness experience not only that He can reveal what’s in your heart but for you to also see what’s in your heart. You also need to know and understand what you are truly made of. It’s something about a wilderness experience that can bring out the best in an indi- vidual. There is purpose in EVERY wilderness experience! The wil- derness is NOT meant to be a forever place. It is a place of being test- ed, learning, growing, a place of trusting and also being stretched to be used for His glory. The wilderness is a place where your faith and reliance in God is also tested. Never lose sight of what God tells you He will do for you! Breakthroughs may not be easy to obtain, but they are possible, and the fight and press is worth it!
Don’t allow the enemy to steal your seed while you’re in the wilderness.
If you want to work closely with Lenika Scott, you can do so by joining The Inner Circle Coaching http://@www.lenikascott.com/innercircle
Blessings,
Lenika Scott
The Millionaire Mom